Of Toymakers and Lawyers
by Varmint
Summary: Bofur is a homeless man that travels from city to city with the hope that someone would show him kindness. And he finds that kindness with the Durin brothers, whom offer him a place to stay as long as he becomes their maid. With his new job come new stresses- including taking care of rich brats and cleaning- but the biggest must be Thorin. The rowdy boys' handsome uncle. Modern AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **Bofur is a homeless man, struggling to find any place that would hire him. He went from city to city, hoping that someone would show him kindness. And he finds that kindness with the Durin brothers, whom offer him a place to stay as long as he becomes their 'maid'. Now, this usually would be humiliating for Bofur, but having lived on only scraps and rags for the past five years, he doesn't find himself so embarrassed whenever the brothers try their best to humiliate him. Well, that is until he finds out their uncle is one of the most breathtaking men he has ever met…

"The winter's pretty cold…" Bofur muttered to himself as he rubbed his hands over his arms, hoping to find some warmth.

It was the middle of the Christmas season in New York City, meaning snow was everywhere and most smart people were already inside their homes, warm and protected from the bitter winds outside. Unfortunately, even if Bofur was smart enough to know this, he didn't have the recourses to warm himself in a safe environment.

He had been homeless for the past five years because of some bad business decisions and even worse love choices so he could never find much shelter for a prolonged amount of time. Sure, there were the shelters, but he didn't feel like being harassed for his custom made hat tonight.

"Another winter without home…" He sighed as his eyes drifted to find a young couple laughing and hugging, rushing their way to warmth.

Now Bofur wasn't usually a sad man. He chose to see the glass half full rather than empty, but he wasn't completely ignorant. He hadn't seen his family ever since he came to America which had been more than ten years ago. And he knew that he had missed out on a lot. His cousin Bifur got himself into quite a predicament that left a rather large dent in their monetary balance and his younger brother, Bombur, got married. He even had children now, and Bofur wasn't around for any of these moments.

He had come to America hoping to open his own toyshop. He had started out by becoming an artisan and selling his creations to whoever would buy them, and with the money had made he hoped he could both buy himself a small space to claim as his toy shop and bring his cousin over to help him with the toy making.

A year into his 'adventure' Bifur was mugged. That was nothing unusual or usual in their small town on the outskirts of Scotland- these kinds of things happen everywhere, you see- but it left lasting effects on their family. Bifur was never the same again.

"Hey, you bum! Watch where you're going!"

Bofur's reverie was interrupted abruptly by harsh hands falling onto his shoulders, knocking him down so quickly that he didn't even have time to notice he had fallen, just that he was now somehow on the floor and there was an angry young man fuming over him.

"You're useless, you know? Not only do you damage this fine city's ambiance with your pitiful self, but you also can't seem to notice where you're walking!"

"Jeff, come on, we don't watch where we're going at times, it's only human."

That was when Bofur noticed there was a young boy standing beside the angry young man, but he was much shorter and younger than the one that had knocked him down.

"Shut up, Sam! He's a bum, he's useless, and he got my jacket dirty! He needs to be taught a lesson!" The young man, Jeff, growled at the young boy, which made him whimper and run back.

"I'm going to tell mom!" Sam screamed as he took off running, making Bofur follow him.

There was a woman sitting down on a bench with dozens of bags surrounding her, letting him know she had just finished some last-minute Christmas shopping.

"Look what you've done, jackass!" Jeff hissed as he lent down and grasped Bofur's shirt collar, glaring darkly at the fallen man.

"Now, lad, I've done nothing to you except for not pay attention to where I was walking. Nothing more, nothing less. You were the one that sent your baby brother away by scaring him." Bofur pointed out with a calm smile and closed eyes, which managed to anger Jeff even more.

"I'll teach you a lesson, stupid bum!"

And Bofur closed his eyes and flinched away from the inevitable contact of the lad's fist, but found himself waiting too long for it. There was a second of silence in which nothing happened and Bofur kept his eyes closed, then he heard a yell and sounds of scuffling.

This interested him, but he didn't dare open his eyes. He knew that the city was rough and he knew there wasn't much love for 'freeloading vagabonds', so he wouldn't be surprised if more kids arrived to beat him up.

"Why don't you pick on someone your size, jerk!?" A new voice surprised Bofur enough that he finally opened his eyes, only to find a scene that shocked him.

* * *

><p>"I really hate Christmas." Kili grouched as his brother laughed loudly at his brother's expense.<p>

"You really shouldn't! It's not Christmas' fault that the nice cashier didn't give you her number! It's your fault because you were so creepy!" Fili laughed loudly, slapping his brother's back.

Both men were making their way down the snow-filled streets of New York after having gone on an ice cream run, which had ultimately ended with Kili making a complete fool of himself in front of a cashier he thought could be his 'soul-mate'.

"And she was so perfect too!" Kili groaned, slapping his face with both hands. "She had an Arrow button! It's like we were meant to be!"

Fili only shook his head at his brother's theatrics as he scooped up some of his chocolate ice cream, but his good mood slowly faded as he saw a dirty looking man being knocked down just a few feet away from them in the sidewalk.

"Fili? Aren't you going to chastise me about falling in love so quickly?" Kili asked as he looked up at the blonde, only to find him glaring at something before him.

That interested Kili and he forgot about his heartache as he saw a burly man scream at a small kid.

"What the hell?" Kili asked softly as his eyes narrowed, his right hand twitching around his ice cream cup.

And that's when the guy raised his fist. This of course did not sit well with either brother, but Kili being the more impulsive of the two, quickly gave his ice cream cup to his brother and bolted to the men in front, only to tackle the aggressive man.

Now that he had a better look at him, Kili could see he was just a muscular teenager with short blonde hair and dark brown eyes that burned with anger. This, of course, angered Kili and he pinned the younger to the ground.

"Why don't you pick on someone your own size, jerk!?" Kili yelled as he held the boy's arms down, all the while he struggled to be freed.

"Get off of me, you lunatic! I can file a report against you for assault!" The boy threatened, which got an eye roll from Kili.

"The only person getting charged with assault would be you, kid."

Kili looked up to find his brother standing before him, the homeless man he had just saved looking at them with wide eyes from his seat on the ground.

"And it would be attempted assault, by the way. Not such a strong crime, but still could get you jail time." Fili drawled in a disinterested voice, feeling kind of upset that he couldn't help the man on the floor because his hands were occupied with the ice cream.

The boy's eyes widened at Fili's words, but before he could try to make himself sound dumber, his mother and brother arrived.

"Jeff, what were you thinking?" The woman scolded as she and her son ran to help the homeless man up, "I am so sorry about him, sir. He's usually not like this, but he just had a fight with his father and his girlfriend broke up with him-"

"Mom!"

Bofur chuckled softly at the woman, patting her hand gently. "Don't worry, ma'am. He didn't hurt me. Not sure if he would have, but that young man over there stopped him."

The woman now turned to find Kili still pinning Jeff to the floor, and she blushed. "Would you mind getting off my son? I know he was attacking this man, but-"

Kili instantly jumped up and nodded at her, but Fili only handed the ice cream cups to his brother and crossed his arms.

"I'm sorry to tell you this, ma'am, but if this man wishes to press charges, he can. From what I saw, the only thing he did wrong was walk on the same sidewalk as your son." He spoke in a business tone, one that Kili only heard whenever he was being a bad kid.

"Oh, please don't!" The woman exclaimed, turning to Bofur with tear filled eyes. "He's going to graduate this year with a scholarship in football! If he gets convicted, he'll lose it!"

Bofur was taken aback by the woman's tone, having completely expected to be threatened into silence, but the kindness made him kind in return. "I won't file any charges, ma'am. Just, get him to control his anger some. He shouldn't be speaking so rudely to his brother."

The woman gasped at his words, and before Bofur could react, he was being hugged tightly by her. "Thank you so much! I'll get him to a therapist! Football season ended so he has nothing to take his anger out on!"

Bofur mechanically hugged her back, unsure if this was what she did before she attacked, but was surprised when she turned to Jeff.

"You and I are going to have a long talk, mister!"

And with those words, she grabbed the teen's ear and walked off with him, little Sam chasing after his family with all of the bags in his hands. Bofur smiled at the child's back, finding it heartwarming how caring the small being could be, but frowned when one of the young men that had helped him cleared his throat.

He turned around, only to find the one with the black hair grinning wickedly while the one with the blonde hair shook his head softly.

"Uh… Thank you, lads, for your help. I think I really would've been hurt if you hadn't stopped the boy." Bofur said lamely, but that just made the brunette's smile widen.

"Come on, Fili! He's funny! Hey, Funny Guy, you hungry?" Kili asked suddenly, which made Bofur stare at him in a stupefied manner.

Fili rolled his eyes at his brother's antics, but looked at the man, wanting to know the answer for the question. The man was just a few inches shorter than himself, and seemed to have a wider body build, but the clothing he wore hung on him, making him seem thinner than what should've been healthy.

Bofur looked from one man to the other, then blinked and scratched at his neck. "Well, I'm a might bit hungry, but I don't see how that's any of your concern…"

"Let me buy you some dinner!" Kili immediately jumped beside him, grabbing him by the left elbow.

"Kili! Don't assault the poor man!" Fili chastised. "One time was enough!"

Kili pouted at his brother now, "But Fili! Because of him I completely forgot about the evil cashier! Come on, let's repay him!"

Fili sighed at his brother's words, all the while Bofur blinked in shock and confusion. Evil cashier? Dinner? Just what was this boy going on about?

"Follow me, Funny Guy! I know this awesome little burger place that will give me one burger for free if I buy two more!" Kili started off in the direction of the small place, dragging Bofur with him.

This, naturally, immediately confused and worried Bofur, but he didn't have it in his heart to stop the taller man as he continued talking so animatedly. So, he just looked back and fond the blonde shaking his head with a soft smile… Bofur didn't know if this was a good thing, or an extremely dangerous bad thing…

**Hope you liked it. Please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary: **Bofur is a homeless man, struggling to find any place that would hire him. He went from city to city, hoping that someone would show him kindness. And he finds that kindness with the Durin brothers, whom offer him a place to stay as long as he becomes their 'maid'. Now, this usually would be humiliating for Bofur, but having lived on only scraps and rags for the past five years, he doesn't find himself so embarrassed whenever the brothers try their best to humiliate him. Well, that is until he finds out their uncle is one of the most breathtaking men he has ever met…

"So that's how I came to know the evil cashier!" Kili finished in a heroic voice while he slammed his fist onto the table before him after he finished retelling the story of how his heart was broken by the perfect girl.

Bofur blinked at him, hands on his burger while Fili slurped at his drink, face showing how unimpressed he was with his brother.

After he had finally dragged Bofur into his favorite burger shop, Kili had ordered one hamburger for each of them and proceeded to explain to Bofur just why he had taken a liking to him so quickly. Fili had arrived a few minutes after his brother and Bofur and had sat down without a word, grey eyes drifting to look at Bofur every once in a while.

"Good for you… I guess?" Bofur mumbled softly, but took a quick bite of his burger before Kili could question his answer.

"Kili, let the poor man eat in peace. You haven't allowed him a second to think since you started dragging him here." Fili finally spoke up, making Kili pout at him.

"Why do you hate me, big brother?" Kili asked in a tearful voice. "How did I wrong you?" He grasped Fili's jacket, looking up at him with wide eyes.

"By being born." Fili answered in a mock serious tone, but still pushed Kili off him.

Both brothers had already finished eating, but Kili didn't want to leave Bofur alone, and Fili couldn't leave Kili alone. So they were all just sitting around the booth, Bofur feeling extremely uncomfortable as their gazes turned to him once more.

"So, what's your name?" Kili asked in a sing-song and Bofur found himself surprised that Fili didn't mock him or anything.

From what he had seen, Kili was the younger and more hyperactive brother while Fili was the more conservative and introverted one. But they still had the bond of brothers, which meant they annoyed each other whenever they could.

And while Fili did love to bother Kili and annoy him, he couldn't help but be interested in the newest question. He was somewhat intrigued by the older man sitting before them. What with his floppy eared hat and gravity defying mustache and braids, he seemed like an interesting enough character.

Once he noticed there was no way he could get out of the question, Bofur leaned back and cleaned his hands. "My name's Bofur BroadBeam lad."

Kili nodded enthusiastically at the answer, and opened his mouth to ask something else, but Fili beat him to it. "Are you homeless, Bofur?"

Bofur frowned at this, but still nodded. "Can't say I have steady job or a roof over my head at all times, but I'm not too bothered by it."

Fili nodded as Bofur answered his unasked question, but this made Kili jump ecstatically. "I like you, Mr. BroadBeam! Why was that mean Jeff attacking you?"

Bofur finished his burger and took a sip from his soda before he answered. "I just happened to walk on the wrong side of the street, kid. Nothing too special."

Kili pursed his lips as he looked at Bofur, then shook his head softly and poked at Bofur's arm. "Do you have anywhere to stay tonight?"

The older man's eyes narrowed slightly, but he still answered, "Can't say I have anywhere safe, but I do not see what that has to do with you, lad."

This made Kili smile broadly. "It has everything to do with me, Funny Guy! You're going to stay with Fili and me tonight!"

* * *

><p>"Wow! This place is huge! Who did you kids rob?!" Bofur gasped as soon as he looked inside the large apartment, eyes wide as he stood there.<p>

His words made Kili giggle while Fili just smiled at him. "We didn't have to rob anyone, Bofur. We just happen to have a steady income." Fili answered, shrugging his shoulders softly.

"Yeah. A snazzy income from our mom and uncle. Besides, with our jobs, we barely have to worry about money!" Kili added as he threw himself on the black couch that was located in the living room, which was just a few feet away from the main door, to the right.

Bofur felt a bit insulted by their words, unsure if they were trying to mock him for his current monetary status, but Fili smacking him on the back quickly halted his doubts.

"You're staying, right? What size pants and shirt are you? I'm pretty sure something of mine could fit you." Fili observed, eyeing Bofur up and down.

The older man looked at him with wide eyes and started to shake his head. "You don't need to do that, lad! I can just leave right now, I'm pretty sure I can-"

"Not going to happen, Mr. Funny Guy." Kili interrupted.

He got up from the comfortable couch to place both hands on the shorter man's shoulders, looking down at him in an almost patronizing manner. "You are our invited guest, Mr. Funny Guy. We will not let you go back to those mean streets without a proper night's rest."

Bofur wasn't an ill-tempered kind of man most of the times. He had lived on the streets for enough time to know that if you acted like a savage, you'd be treated like one. But if you acted like a decent human, other treated you like a caged animal instead of a wild one. To most people living luxurious lives, this would seem rather cruel and inhumane. But to Bofur it was just ways to survive.

And it was because of these years of learning patience and to resist wishes of storming away and slamming doors that Bofur was able to not try to get away from the lad in front of him as fast possible.

"I am mighty glad of this offer, lads, I really am." Bofur started to say, uncomfortable smile on his lips. "But I cannot accept this… It really is-"

"Too much?" Fili asked now walking up to both men.

It really was something amazing to think that these two were brothers. Not only did they share barely any physical resemblance, but their personalities were completely different. Anyone could notice this just by their facial expressions at the moment. While Kili smiled a toothy grin at the shortest of the men, Fili just eyed him with a calm expression.

"Uh, well…" Bofur stuttered slightly, unsure how to answer.

Kili's hands were still on his shoulders, stopping him from moving away from the brothers. Not like he thought he could. Fili's set gaze made him feel as if he wouldn't be able to move even if he tried.

"Would you really feel right about rejecting our hospitality, Mr. Bofur?" Fili asked, blue eyes so filled with curiosity and determination that Bofur really felt like shrinking away from him.

Here he was, a grown man nearing his thirties, and backing down to two lads! Why, if Bombur ever heard of this, the large man would never let him live it down!

"Are you trying to insult us, Mr. Broadbeam? Hurt two men who went out of their way to help you in your time of need?" Kili continued, his own eyes wide as if to replicate what Bombur had once told Bofur was the 'puppy-dog eyed' look.

Bofur shook his head wildly, holding his hands up in an almost defensive way. "I don't mean to insult you, lads, but-"

"Then it's settled! Mr. Funny Guy will be rooming with me!"

Before he could even try to make sense of things, Bofur found himself being hauled away to what he could only assume was Kili's bedroom, the taller man's hands tightly holding on to Bofur's wrists. As he looked behind him, Bofur found Fili shaking his head after them both. This did not bode too well for the older man.

**Hope you liked it. Please review.**


	3. Chapter 3

When Kili managed to drag Bofur into his room, the older man was undoubtedly amazed. Even though it was pretty small for the size of the apartment they were in, it was still big- in Bofur's eyes- just for one person to live in.

It seemed barely lived in, for the walls didn't have anything on them and the only real furniture inside was a bed, a desk, a window frame, a nightstand, and a wardrobe. The walls were a light green color and the furniture was all brown.

"And this is my room!" Kili announced with a sweeping gesture, most probably imagining Bofur fawning over the grandeur he saw.

Bofur really was amazed by it, but he wasn't about to start fawning over the lad's room. That wasn't too respectable in his eyes.

"Swell room, lad." Bofur remarked, trying to loosen his hand from the iron grip Kili had it in. "But I don't really think I-"

"Will really fit in here?" Kili finished for him, even though Bofur was pretty sure he knew that wasn't where he was going. "Nonsense, Mr. Funny Guy!"

With that Kili led Bofur towards his bed and threw him on it, making the older man grunt in slight shock at the force he was thrown with, then look on in slight confusion as Kili bent to the bottom of the bed and started pulling out a bed from there.

"Tada!" Kili sang as he sprang up, pointing at the roll-out bed he had just produced.

Bofur looked at him with slightly disinterested eyes, but that disinterest left when a knock was heard on the door.

"Kili, I brought Bofur some clothing."

Kili pursed his lips at this, walking over to the door. "But he could have just borrowed some of mine."

"Yeah, but you're too tall. I'm pretty sure my size is closer to his than to yours."

Bofur nodded at the logic, completely agreeing with it, then he pursed his own lips.

Was he really going to let these kids have their way with him? Why wouldn't he just stand up and tell them he really was going to leave?

"You're a mean older brother, Fili!" Kili groaned while crossing his arms, slouching as he knew that he had lost this small argument.

Fili smirked at his younger sibling but instead of boasting at the victory the blonde turned towards Bofur with a kind smile.

"They're just some pajama pants Kili bought for me a year or two ago that I never wear and a worn shirt." He explained as he handed them over to the older man who eyed the black garments slightly warily.

Once he had both things in his hands Bofur unfolded them only to be surprised with what he found. The pajama pants were all black, extremely soft, with two pockets and even had a small design of a star in a circle at the right hip. Underneath of the circle were the words '_Supernatural Join the hunt'_ which Bofur, of course, had no idea as to what it meant.

The shirt, on the other hand, was also extremely soft and pure black, but Bofur actually knew where this reference came from. It was a Joker shirt, the psychopath posing proudly at the front with a broad smile while Harley hugged him from behind..

Bofur quirked an eyebrow at both items, and Kili smiled brightly at him.

"It was from a friend of ours! He said Fili and I have a Harley-Joker relationship where I'm Harley!" With this the young man wrapped an arm around his shorter brother as if trying to further explain without using any more words.

Bofur was thoroughly confused by this.

Fili shrugged him off- albeit with a smile- and opened the door to Kili's room. "The bathroom's right in front of you. It's kind of hard to miss, too. Has a large sign that reads 'bathroom'." Fili told him.

"And why would you make it so conspicuous?" Bofur asked as he folded up the clothing and draped it over his left forearm.

"Because our friends kept getting lost in the apartment." Kili answered then shrugged. "It was actually our uncle's idea. If it were up to Fili and I there wouldn't be a sign there."

Fili nodded, "That's true. If they can't find the bathroom themselves they shouldn't be allowed to use it."

"That is... Kind of harsh of you two..." Bofur breathed, unsure of what else to say.

Both brothers looked at one another, shrugged, and smiled at Bofur. "Oh well. What can you do, Mr. Funny Guy?" Kili asked, only to push him softly towards the doorway. "Now go change and come back as soon as possible! I want to play truth or dare with you and Fili!"

Fili quirked an eyebrow at his brother, just as surprised to hear this as Bofur apparently.

"Just... _Why_ would you think we'd play that childish game, Kili?"

The younger shrugged, "Just thought it might have been fun, bro."

Fili rolled his eyes at his brother's words and turned to Bofur. "Good night, Bofur."

With that the eldest brother left Bofur alone with Kili. And, for some odd reason, Bofur did not like that at all. He actually felt deep inside himself that if he allowed Kili, the younger would make do many things Bofur would normally not consent to. He just seemed to have that gift of gab that made anyone agree with him.

As if sensing the elder's trepidation Kili turned to him, broad smirk in place. Fortunately, though, before he could do anything, Bofur neared the door and ran to the bathroom. "Going to change!" He gave as an excuse before he slammed the bathroom's door, huffing loudly.

Just what what was it about these kids that he still couldn't say no to them?

* * *

><p>Luckily enough for Bofur, the night wasn't as eventful as he would have expected. Apparently Kili really had tired himself out during the day, so when Bofur had come back to the room dressed in Fili's pajamas the younger was already in bed, hugging a stuffed bear tightly to his chest.<p>

He yawned loudly as he saw Bofur enter the room, and with a complacent smile on his face told him, "Goodnight Mr. Funny Guy. Please don't run away while we sleep."

Bofur quirked an eyebrow at the request but shook his head and allowed a small smile to graze his lips. It may have been a forced outing, but in retrospect, having met these brothers was certainly one of the best things to have happened to him in a long time.

So without even thinking of leaving Bofur got comfortable in the roll out bed Kili had prepared for him, placed his hat down on the nightstand beside him, and closed his eyes. This also proved to be the first time in a long time that he actually slept in a comfortable bed without having to worry about anything of his getting stolen by another bum.

In the morning he was awoken by poke on his cheek while someone- undoubtedly Kili- whispered for him to get up.

"Come on... Fili's making some of his famous pancakes with bacon... It's bacon, dude..."

Bofur allowed one eye to open so he could softly glare at the young man poking him, but only found him smiling brightly.

It was actually kind of cute. Kili reminded Bofur of himself back when he was that age. Of course, he had been less rich at that time and living in his cousin's home with his younger brother, but that was beside the point. It seemed as if Kili just couldn't keep the smile off his face. That was actually pretty refreshing for Bofur.

"Can I not sleep for a few more minutes, lad?"

"You know, I really like that. You calling me lad." Bofur sighed as Kili continued poking him, letting him know that he had to wake up right now. "Starting from today on you can't call anyone but me lad. It's your nickname for me now and can't nobody else have it."

"That's a double negative brother, it means he _can_ call someone else lad."_  
><em>

"Fili! I thought you were making breakfast!"

Bofur silently thanked Fili as Kili's constant poking left him, giving him at least a few more seconds to keep his eyes closed.

"I was." Fili sighed as Kili's arms wrapped around his shoulders, huggin him tightly. "But I came up here while the pancakes cooked because I was worried you would be bothering our guest."

Kili smiled broadly at his brother and motioned to brother. "Well, as you can see, I was _not_ bothering but instead waking him up."

Fili looked at him with an unimpressed gaze then turned to Bofur with a soft smile. "You will be joining us for breakfast, right? I'd be upset because I already made yours."

Bofur looked up at both brothers and much to his disappointment both were giving him pleading looks, especially Fili. The older man groaned softly as he threw one arm over his face but used the other to wave at them.

"Sure. I'll stay."

**Please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

Breakfast wasn't as hectic as Bofur had been expecting it to be. Both boys ate in a calm manner and didn't really bother Bofur much if he didn't count the small questions they made here and there.

"And where are you from?"

"Dublin, Ireland."

Kili gasped at the answer, eyes wide suddenly, "You mean you're really Irish? Do they drink as much as the people here say they do?"

Bofur gave him an unimpressed stare while Fili rolled his eyes, "I must apologize for my brother's stupidity. He is somewhat close minded and has only had the internet to quench his curiosity. Most of what he knows of other cultures is correct when applied to small numbers but he completely misses when it comes to assuming things out of the whole population."

Fili, Bofur decided, was too eloquent to be real. The younger male always spoke with much respect- even when insulting his brother- and seemed to always use the biggest yet most easily understood words he could try.

All in all Bofur didn't really mind the brothers presence. He just didn't like the idea of getting close to them now because he knew he was going to be back on the streets in less than a day.

This thought made the hatted man frown and this caught both brothers attention.

"Did I say something wrong, Bofur?" Kili asked, really worried it was his fault. "If I did, I'm sorry. You heard Fili, I'm a simpleton."

Fili rolled his eyes at the younger's words but still turned to Bofur. "What has you troubled?"

The man sighed and scratched at his neck, "Oh, it's nothing lads. Just me an' me thoughts."

Both brothers shared a look at his answer, then Fili sighed and stood up. "Bofur, are you good with cleaning?"

The man was caught off by the question- he really would have expected something like that coming from Kili but certainly not Fili- but still nodded. "Can't say I'm bad, lad."

Kili seemed to growl at the nickname and Bofur quickly turned to apologize while Fili spoke up. "Well, you see Bofur, Kili and I are not the cleanest of men out there. You may not see it because we just recently got this apartment, but this will turn into a pigsty in less than a month."

Bofur quirked an eyebrow in confusion, not sure where Fili was going by telling him all this while Kili only smiled broadly at him suddenly. "And, you see, we seem to already find you a close friend." Kili continued. "And we don't like thinking of our friends suffering."

"So we were wondering if you would mind becoming our housekeeper- basically- for pay?" Fili was now beside his brother and all Bofur could do was blink at both brothers.

Just... What was this?

Bofur blinked at them in shock for a few more seconds then shook his head and stood up, angry. "Now that's just swell, lads. Sure, make fun of the homeless man. He's got nothing left to lose so you can prank him like this!"

He was so angered that he didn't see the brothers own surprised faces as he turned around and stormed to the door. "And I really thought you lads wanted to help!"

With that Bofur slammed the door behind him and headed out of the apartment building, face burning in anger at what those kids had done. To think he had actually considered them friends for a second! He should have known better! Nobody in this world would stick their necks out for strangers. No one!

* * *

><p>"Blast it all... I left most of my stuff back in those kids apartment." Bofur muttered angrily, rubbing his hands rapidly.<p>

The snow had not let up since the night before and now he was missing most of his warm clothing. His gloves, scarf, and overcoat were all still in the boys' apartment and he really didn't feel like going back. It would make him look weak and pitiful. He would just have to stay cold until he was able to find replacements.

"And those were made by Bombur's wife..." He breathed, shaking his head softly.

He really regretted having left in such a rage- maybe the kids really weren't trying to prank him- but after those years of living on the streets and getting by on scraps he didn't want to be yanked around like they would most probably do.

Bofur didn't really know where he was going. He didn't even know if he was going to stay in the city or leave it. But he did know that his indecision was not new. These were just the perks of being homeless in such a cold city.

Walking down yet another sidewalk filled with people finishing up their Christmas shopping the hatted man frowned softly.

Maybe he _had_ been too harsh with the lads. Maybe they _really_ wanted to help him.

But nothing ever went well for him, he thought with chagrin. Ever since he had left Ireland to find fortune in America nothing had gone well for him. His toys sold, sure, but they weren't sought after. Once he had met a kind stranger that had told him while they were whimsical and beautiful, the toys just didn't seem to be made for playing.

Then Bifur's injuries came into the picture and Bofur felt like Lady Luck had completely abandoned him.

As he walked down the street he failed to see a young lad running straight towards him and before Bofur could see him, both were sent tumbling backwards and onto the pavement.

"Oh..." Bofur groaned, grabbing at the sidewalk to find the hat that had flown from his head, "I've _got_ to start looking where I'm walking."

"I am so sorry!"

Bofur gasped as hands were suddenly patting at his coat, as if trying to brush the dust off of it.

"I was in a hurry and _I _wasn't looking where I was heading and I was running too, as if the ignorance wasn't bad enough!"

Whomever Bofur had run into seemed to be rather kind- at least kind when compared to the teen that had tried to assault him because of a situation much like this one- and jumpy if his pattern of speech was anything to go by.

"Oh, don't worry about it lad." Bofur muttered, eyes softening as he found a young man already up and grasping for Bofur's hat.

"I really am sorry. My brothers are always telling me I have my head up in the clouds but..." The younger drifted off as Bofur stood up, then offered the hat with a nervous smile.

Bofur smiled as broadly as he could as he took his hat. "I know a thing or two of daydreaming, don't you worry! I guess it's both our faults, really. If I had been paying attention I might have gotten out of the way before we slammed into one another."

Both were quiet as they looked down at the floor, then the young man stuck his hand out, "My name's Ori."

Bofur shook his hand with a warm smile, but Ori's eyes widened and a sharp gasp left him, promptly cutting off Bofur's own introduction. "I have to go!"

With that he sidestepped Bofur and took off running, but not before waving and apologizing once more. "I truly am sorry, Mister! If we meet again I will apologize properly!"

Bofur waved back as the man ran away, then shook his head softly, beginning to walk once more. "I have had to oddest luck these days." He muttered to himself.

But as he walked he couldn't seem to wipe the smile from his face. It seems that the meeting with Ori was enough to lighten his mood and make him happy once more.

And he thought that meeting Ori would be the last interesting thing of his day. But once lunchtime rolled around and Bofur sat down in a bench in a park he couldn't have been more surprised.

Fili and Kili were both there, and from the binoculars and walkie-talkies in their hands, Bofur could only assume they were looking for something. He didn't know what, but he didn't want to find out. He stood up to leave the park, but that seemed to have been the wrong move.

"I found him brother!"

Bofur grunted in surprise as strong arms suddenly wrapped around his chest, hoisting him up and twirling him so he was face to face with a worried Fili.

"Oh, thank God we found you, Mr. Bofur! We were so worried!" Fili gasped and Bofur couldn't help but gape at him in shock.

If the boys really were this worried about him, then that meant their job offer wasn't a hoax. And he had just caused them distress without any real explanation.

"Don't you ever dare leave us like that, Mr. Bofur!" Kili scolded from behind him, hugging him tightly. "Why, we were about to call the police!"

Fili scoffed softly at his brothers words as he shook his head. "We weren't going to call them, you idiot. They would have laughed in our faces for losing a grown man." Then his eyes softened as he looked at Bofur. "But we _did_ call in a friend of ours to help us in our search."

Bofur felt Kili nod behind him but instead of letting the boys continue talking, he cleared his throat. "I am not sure what you lads like about me, but I admit you are rather nice kids. And while I am sure Kili is a touchy kind of person, this hug is becoming too long for my liking."

"Good." Kili muttered darkly. "You had us worried, Bofur. We offer you work, hoping not only for you to become a friend of ours but also to help you get back on your feet, yet you storm away from us!"

"We understand why you understood insult, Bofur." Fili told him, grabbing Bofur's attention once more. "But we really just wanted to help."

"Besides, mother says Fili and I have a very bad habit."

The brothers stayed quiet after this and Bofur was heavily inclined to ask what their habit was, but a new voice answered the unasked question.

"Well, you two do seem to keep proving her right every single time you pick up a stray."

Fili smiled as the newcomer stepped up behind Kili bot Bofur still wasn't able to see who it was.

"We have big hearts." Fili shrugged and Kili nodded rapidly.

"And Bofur has a big heart too! I assure you, we are _not_ being stupid by helping this man in his time of need!"

With these strong words Kili lifted Bofur back up and twirled him back around to face the friend. And whom he saw made both Bofur's and the friend's eyes widen.

"You?"

**Please review.**


	5. Chapter 5

It was none other than Ori, the young man that had run into him on the street earlier that day. His eyes were wide as he saw the man Kili was hugging tightly while Fili and Kili looked at both in confusion.

"Do you know each other?" Kili asked, glancing from the man in his arms to his friend.

"I... Uh... Well, we kind of ran into each other a few hours ago..." Ori mumbled, scratching at the back of his neck with a nervous chuckle.

Bofur smiled reassuringly at the youth then headbutted Kili softly. "Could I please get down now?"

Kili rubbed at his chin with his left arm, allowing Bofur to finally step away from his embrace. He glanced down at the taller male, who was pouting heavily, and shook his head in a disapproving manner.

"Not only do you try to hold me hostage, but you also try to make me feel guilty about getting free after?" Bofur asked him while Fili chuckled at his younger brother.

He couldn't see behind him, but Bofur was pretty sure that Ori too was chuckling because Kili's reaction was really rather amusing.

"There is no more love in this world!" Kili grouched, crossing his arms while still pouting.

Fili rolled his eyes at his brother's antics then turned to Bofur and Ori. "Just how did you two meet?"

Ori smiled nervously as a blush crept upon his face, feeling bashful about having run into the very man he was supposed to be looking for.

Bofur looked back at the younger man, and noting just how bashful he was about it, smiled broadly at Fili. "He offered me a cup of coffee early in the morning. I had to turn it down, though, for I had nothing to pay him back with."

Ori smiled gratefully at the Irishman while Fili smiled warmly at both of them. "This is actually very good. If Ori approves of you, Bofur, it means our Uncle and Mom won't completely hate you."

Bofur blinked at his words, running them over to make sure he had heard correctly, but Kili speaking was all he needed to make sure.

"Please, Fili. We'll make sure they never meet Bofur." Then Kili wrapped his arms around Bofur and Ori.

The younger of the four blushed at the contact while Bofur only rolled his eyes. Apparently he had already become accustomed to Kili's love of physical contact.

"But, please, we shouldn't think of that now!" Kili smiled broadly. "I say we treat these two to some nice burgers!"

And once more Bofur was dragged to Kili's favorite hamburger place.

* * *

><p>"So, before we allow you to start working, Bofur, we should get you some new clothes." Fili acknowledged as they walked out of the small shop, Kili and Bofur walking behind him.<p>

Ori had to leave earlier because of some emergency with his brother, Nori- and Bofur was surprised to find Fili and Kili betting about what the problem could have been- so now the original three were together.

After having explained their situations a bit more, the brothers and Bofur were able to come to an understanding. Now Bofur was going to be working for the lads every day of the week for the following months and staying with them until he was able to find himself a permanent home along with other employment.

Kili had joked about not letting him even after he was able to sell his toys to the biggest companies. Bofur had found this endearing while Fili only shook his head at his brothers comment, though.

Bofur looked at Fili in slight shock. "But I cannot be taking any more of your money, lad."

Kili frowned at the use of the nickname and Bofur sighed, "Sorry, lad. I meant Fili."

The younger smiled at this and nodded, allowing them to continue their conversation.

"Nonsense, Bofur! Look, if you really feel that strongly about us buying you clothing, we could say this is an advance pay. Month's worth, even."

Bofur couldn't believe the words he was hearing. Was Fili really saying all this?

"But wouldn't that be-"

Fili raised his hand, stopping Bofur. "It would not be a bother. You would be working to pay us back the first month, then you'd be working for pay. It's not a bother at all, Bofur."

The hatted man still frowned at the idea, not liking being in debt to the youngsters, but nodded. He had already agreed to work with them so, technically, they were now his bosses. And if he had learned anything in his life it was to always to do as your bosses told you to do.

"Well... If you're alright with it, la- I mean, Fili."

* * *

><p>Bofur didn't mind working for the brothers. They proved to be respectful, generous, patient, and not as messy as they had initially made him think.<p>

The days went by with Bofur cleaning first the brothers rooms, then the bathroom, then the kitchen, and lastly the common rooms. The boys were usually there with him because of winter break but sometimes they had to leave to make sure their mother and uncle didn't become too suspicious.

He didn't agree with the trickery. Bofur knew family was one of the most important things in life but he wasn't in any place to tell the brothers they were wrong by lying to their mother and uncle. From what they had told him, both adults would kick Bofur out without any kind of remorse, leaving him alone in the streets once more.

And, maybe he was being a bit selfish for this, Bofur wanted to keep doing what he was doing. He didn't mind cleaning up after the boys because he finally felt as if he belonged somewhere. After five whole years of walking with no clear destination he felt as if he had found it.

Now a month had passed and the brothers were whining about having to go back to school in January.

"I don't want to go back, Bofur!" Kili moaned during breakfast, playing softly with the eggs and bacon Bofur had made for them all.

Fili munched grumpily at his own food, not feeling like his brothers whines warranted a response. Bofur sighed from his place in the island- which was in between both brothers- and patted Kili on the shoulder.

"You'll survive lad."

Kili looked at him with a pout, "How about we run away to Ireland?"

Bofur chuckled and shook his head, "Fili here would miss you."

"No I wouldn't."

Both men looked at the blonde and he frowned at both of them. "It is way too early for you two to be so happy."

"What is wrong, big brother?" Kili asked, blinking at the older.

"You two talk too-"

Before he could finish his sentence, though, a knock on the apartment door cut him off.


	6. Chapter 6

Fili and Kili's eyes were wide after the knock on the door, both reminding Bofur very much of a deer caught in headlights.

He didn't know what had happened but he wasn't too interested in it. He had grown accustomed to the boys' theatrics so instead of wondering why they reacted in such a manner he just continued eating his breakfast.

"Quick, brother, like we practiced!" Fili suddenly commanded, grabbing Bofur by the back of his jacket.

He now had a full wardrobe- complete with band shirts and other things that only the boys understood the references to- along with two new pairs of shoes apart from the boots he wore while on the street. Right now he wore a simple white shirt, blue jeans, and a denim jacket while the brothers were still clad in pajamas.

Bofur felt himself being pulled backwards by the the older of the brothers and suddenly he was being thrown into the closet where they kept all their cleaning supplies.

Fili pointed at him, face serious, "Do not utter a word. Do not move. We will come get you when it is safe."

"Hey, Fili-"

"Not a word!" Fili bit out, making Bofur clamp his mouth shut.

Over Fili's shoulder he could see Kili throwing clothes all over the living room and Bofur pursed his lips. "Just why is Kili-"

Fili slapped his hand over Bofur's mouth promptly shutting him up. "All will be explained once our... _Situation_ has been resolved, Bofur. Until then, you must stay quiet and not make a move."

With that the door to the closet was slammed and Bofur found himself immersed in darkness.

He sighed and crossed his arms, looking around himself to find a place to sit. "Guess I'll follow their rules then... Weird lads...

* * *

><p>"Just a bit more wrappers, Ki!" Fili hissed as he returned from his room, throwing some of his dirty clothes in the hallway.<p>

The brothers were running to and from the living room, trying to get it as messy yet clean as possible. And there was a very simple reason to be undoing all of Bofur's hard work. The only people that would knock so solidly on their apartment's door were two. And these two were their mother and their uncle. People they didn't want to find out about their new housekeeper.

Kili threw some more candy wrappers onto the floor of the living room, then pulled out the controllers for the PS3 they had mounted in front of the television.

"It's perfect!" Kili whispered, eyes wide as he looked over the organized chaos they had just made in the room.

But his moment of amazement was cut off by another hurried knock at the door.

"Get the door, you twat!" Fili demanded as he appeared from the hallway, jumping over the couch to turn on the television and gaming station.

Kili ran around in a few circles before finally running to the door and swinging it open. Before him, frowning down at him with clear annoyance, stood his majestic uncle, Thorin Durinson.

"Fili and Kili Durinson, just what the hell were you two making me wait for?" He growled as he stepped into the apartment, frown increasing once he saw the mess his nephews had created in the small amount of time they had lived here.

Fili glanced over from his game, smiling softly at his uncle. "Oh, you know the problem with these kinds of games, uncle. We have to follow it through to the end."

Kili nodded with a wide smile as he sat down beside his brother, grabbing his own controller to begin another round of Black Ops.

Thorin grimaced at how laid back his nephews were, glancing around at how messy the place really was.

"No wonder your mother told me to pass by. You kids have no idea what cleanliness even is." Thorin muttered, now looking at the game the boys were playing.

He didn't understand much of what was going on. He wasn't too big on many of the boys' games and he really didn't care to be. All he wanted right now was to make sure the boys had enough food in their fridge so he could finally eat some lunch.

So Thorin walked himself over to the kitchen and found three plates still full of food, as if the boys had just started playing the game to be able to ignore him more easily. This he was used to, what was new was the fact that the food was cooked and not some kind of cereal, and there were _three_ plates.

"Boys?" He called, leaning slightly to look through the doorway to the kitchen.

Fili and Kili shared worried looks before looking back at their uncle, game raging before them. "Yeah, Thorin?"

"Why do you have three plates of food out here? Did you have a visitor?"

Kili glared darkly at Fili- whose job it had been to clean up any evidence in the kitchen- all the while the elder smiled nervously. He hadn't meant to forget getting that done it was just that the rush of grabbing and throwing things to make their apartment dirtier had distracted him from his initial job.

"You had _one_ job, Fili." Kili hissed, but both brothers quickly looked back towards the kitchen to not make their uncle any more confused.

* * *

><p>Bofur was beginning to seriously regret having allowed the boys to throw him into the supply closet. It felt as if he had been stuck in there for ages and his lack of being able to listen to what was happening outside really wasn't helping him. He was pretty sure that something bad was going on, though, but he just didn't know what.<p>

The room he was in was small and filled with cleaning supplies and really only had one place for him to sit, which was on top of a container of some kind, and he really was starting to be annoyed with the boys.

He did not deserve to be shoved into some kind of closet just because their friends were over. Besides, weren't they proud of having taken him in? Kids nowadays were too confusing for his liking.

So, with a huff, Bofur crossed his arms and leaned against the wall behind him, glaring at the broom beside him.

"What are you looking at?"

* * *

><p>"There are three plates here, Uncle, because…" Kili began, trying to come up with a convincing lie while jumping over the back of the couch to walk towards the kitchen.<p>

Fili followed his brother with a small frown on his face, unsure as to what he was planning. But, really, whatever his brother could come up with would be way better than anything he was thinking of. Which was nothing.

"We were extremely hungry."

He mumbled lamely and Thorin pursed his lips at his nephews. That's when they heard an odd kind of noise coming from the supply closet, prompting the three men to turned to it.

"Did do you hear that?" Thorin asked, looking at the boys with worry.

"Hear what? Oh, I heard nothing!" Kili announced, smacking his uncle over the shoulder. "You'll be needing a hearing aid soon enough, uncle!"

Kili was beginning to freak out. Their carefully laid out plans would be ruined because Fili was an idiot and Bofur was not helping at all! If this failed at least he would be able to say he did his job, though.

Thorin glared down at the younger of the boys, feeling insulted at his words, and shook his head. "I am sure I heard something."

"Uncle, just why are you here?" Fili asked, stopping Thorin from walking towards the closet.

Thorin's eyes were narrowed, starting to become suspicious. Just why were his nephews reacting in such a manner? Now he thought to back when they were kids and were acting in a similar manner.

"Fili, you only act like this when you know you're going to get into trouble for something you have done." Thorin deadpanned while Kili squeaked.

Fili chuckled nervously and Thorin was now completely sure the brothers were trying to hide something from him.

"If you must know, uncle, we have not washed any dishes in days! We know you and mom want us to be on our best behavior while we're here and finally away from you guys, but we're young!" Fili gasped hurriedly, scratching at the back of his neck while finishing with a lame smile.

Thorin turned around to glance at the sink, only to find that was devoid of any dirty plates. "If that's so, Fili, how come your sink is empty?"

Now Kili jumped forward and Thorin was now surrounded by his nephews. "That's because... We, uh... We threw them all away!" Kili said but his voice sounded more like he had just come up with a great idea rather than told a truth. "Yep, we've decided to start buying take out only?"

Now Thorin pointed at the three breakfast plates still on the island. "How come you have homemade breakfast right there?"

Kili groaned in annoyance, "Fili, you really ought to start helping me!"

Fili glared at his brother but smiled when Thorin turned to him with a glare. Clearly their uncle was starting to become extremely annoyed with their antics. It was a matter of time before he exploded at them.

Thorin crossed his arms and Fili was about ready to call it quits and just tell their uncle the truth. But he didn't because he liked Bofur and didn't like the idea of his uncle kicking him out just because he was an older man.

"If you must know, uncle..." Fili sighed, wiping at his face with his hand. "We haven't been completely honest with you."

Fili could see Kili shaking his head and silently telling him to stop but Fili continued speaking. "The reason our plates are clean and we have real food here is... because..."

"My girlfriend was nice enough to clean before we ate breakfast!" Kili blurted out and Fili smiled widely and began to nod, agreeing with the idea.

It wasn't the truth and their uncle would start bothering them to know more about the girl but it was both plausible and a good lie.

Thorin blinked at Fili then turned to Kili with a questioning gaze. "Girlfriend?"

Kili nodded rapidly. "That's right, uncle. And she made us breakfast even, and we were having a nice conversation when you showed up. She took off through the fire escape."

The look Thorin gave him was enough to let the boys know that he didn't believe them.

"You allowed her to go through the fire escape?"

"Yes, that's right! We were busy throwing trash onto the floor to make it seem like it was just Kili and I here while she fled!" Fili spoke up. "Her family doesn't like Kili or I."

Thorin seemed like he wanted them to explain more but his phone rang. And from the soft curse he uttered the boys knew they were safe for now.

"I'll be back." Thorin told them with his most serious and threatening tone then he left the apartment.

Fili and Kili both let out a breath of relief then looked at each other with broad smiles.

"We've done it, Kili!" Fili laughed, running to his brother and embracing him tightly. "Nice thinking with the girlfriend lie!"

Then they heard a knock on the closet's door. "Lads, can I come out now?"

**Please review.**


	7. Chapter 7

Bofur was really starting to worry about the boys. Not only had they locked him inside a closet for solid thirty minutes to lie to their uncle, but they were also lying wholeheartedly to their uncle and mother.

The boys had begun going back to school as soon as Monday hit and Bofur found himself with a new challenge that very week. Their friends.

Ori he had been acquainted with before and so wasn't too concerned when he entered the apartment Tuesday afternoon followed by Fili and Kili. But he was surprised when he found a much taller and lankier young lad entering behind the siblings, who was then followed by a woman about as tall as him.

"Bofur!" Kili exclaimed, throwing his arms up to bring the elder man into a tight hug. "Oh, you're wearing the maid outfit we bought you!"

Bofur's cheeks flared up in embarrassment when he saw all eyes turn to him, clearly Kili's words having caught their attention. He wasn't wearing anything kinky in any way, it was just a 'butler' suit Fili had bought for him a few days ago to wear as a uniform whenever he was working. But Kili's words weren't exactly helping him all that much.

"We brought friends!" Kili announced, making a grand flair while motioning to the newcomers.

Fili pointed at Ori, "You know Ori. But these two," He motioned to the two Bofur didn't know. "Are Legolas and Tauriel."

The blonde man nodded at Bofur while the woman waved at him in a slightly nervous manner.

"We told them how good your food was and invited them over to taste some of it." Kili explained the question Bofur had not asked yet.

"If you need any help, I would be more than glad to. I know this most probably is catching you by surprise." Tauriel stepped forward, raising her hand to motion towards herself.

Bofur blinked at her, wondering why the woman felt the need to be so nice, all the while Kili continued holding him. He really had grown accustomed to the boys extremely personal ways so he wasn't too bothered by the long touches anymore. As long as the boys kept their hands to themselves when they needed to, Bofur was okay.

But right now was one of those times when Bofur wished Kili wasn't so comfortable with hugging him.

"Lad, could you please let go of me?" Bofur asked Kili who only shook his head.

"I'm comfortable here, Mr. Funny Guy." Kili told him.

Fili rolled his eyes at his brothers antics and walked towards them, grabbing at the back of the younger's neck. Kili hissed and immediately reacted, letting go of Bofur and bringing his shoulders up to try to avoid Fili's hand on his neck.

"You should know better than to bother the man that's going to make our food, brother." Fili told Kili, who was squeaking and looked rather funny all tensed up.

The brothers friends smiled at their antics, and Bofur did as well, then looked at the woman. "Well, if you want to help, I don't see anything too bad with that."

Tauriel smiled somewhat shyly at him while nodding. "Come on. You'll be on chopping duty." Bofur told her, leading her towards the kitchen in the apartment.

"Come on, Fili, let go of your brother." Ori told the older male, somewhat bothered by Kili's whines and squeaks.

The blonde looked at him with a quirked eyebrow, breathed out and released his younger brother. Kili threw himself at the floor and curled up, rocking slightly.

"Evil hands tried to take my life away..." Kili whispered, eyes wide in fear. "Evil hands are evil..."

Fili rolled his eyes at the younger's reactions, but upon noticing Legolas' confused gaze he explained, "Kili doesn't like people touching his neck. When we were kids he was stupid enough to get in a fight with a much bigger boy that choked him. I was there to stop it, of course, but he was traumatized."

"And you use that trauma against him now?" Legolas asked, clearly unimpressed with the younger male's actions.

Fili shrugged while Legolas crossed his arms. "Trauma upon trauma helps him. And if getting his neck squeezed softly will stop him from sexually harassing Bofur at every turn, then maybe I will do it."

Ori rolled his eyes but he was already used to Fili's eccentric ways so he wasn't too shocked by his words. "You said we'd be able to play some video games."

At the mention of these words Kili jumped up with a broad smile. "Let's play Smash Bros. I call Captain Fabulous!" He exclaimed, grabbing Ori's wrist to pull him towards the couch.

Fili rolled his own eyes at his brother but turned to Legolas with soft smirk. "Besides, Kili is Kili. He doesn't really let much get him down."

Legolas' frown let the other blonde know he really wasn't impressed with anything that had happened.

* * *

><p>"Dwalin? What are you doing here?" Thorin asked as he saw his best friend in the doorway to his office, frown in place.<p>

The bald man was wearing his Security uniform and seemed as threatening as ever, but Thorin wasn't too bothered by this. He had known Dwalin since childhood and knew the man wasn't as scary as he seemed.

"Have the boys been acting strangely?"

Thorin quirked an eyebrow at the odd question and cleared his throat, straightening up in his chair. He had been working on yet another case but it wasn't too important. It was a simple case of he said-she said, and it wouldn't bee too hard to win. So he thought he could take a small break to listen to his best friend.

"Well, Fili and Kili have always been rather strange. You've known them since they were children."

Dwalin sighed and nodded at this, then turned around to look at the office behind him. What he saw seemed to make him comfortable but he still entered the room and closed the door behind him.

Thorin was not the kind to worry easily but seeing his best friend acting in such an odd manner was letting him know this was yet another normal episode of his nephews stupidity.

"Is everything alright?"

Dwalin sat down in front of his desk and passed a hand over his scalp. "Well, yes, but... You know how Ori is a good friend of the lads? And how Nori worries over his brother so he sometimes stalks them?"

"Yes. I don't agree with Nori's methods, of course, but having him around helps reign in the boys at times." Thorin noted and Dwalin frowned grimly.

"He tells me all three of them are in on something."

Thorin quirked an eyebrow at his friend and pursed his lips slightly. He had known his nephews were clearly hiding something with the way they acted when he last visited them but he never thought Ori would be in on it. He had always thought Dwalin's young yet mature boyfriend would be much too serious to ever allow the brothers to drag him down with them.

"And Ori's been rather jumpy whenever I mention the lads around him." Dwalin sighed, shaking his head.

When he had first met Ori he had fallen in love instantly. The psychology student had been trying to order some coffee at a shop Dwalin just happened to be in but some jerk decided to cut the line and push him out of the line. And instead of fighting him, Ori had just huffed and gotten up, making his way to the back of the line.

Dwalin of course hadn't liked that so he shoved the cutter out of the line and gotten him thrown out of the shop. Then he had gotten Ori and paid for his drink and the rest of it was history. He'd known that Ori was too young for him, but the young man didn't really seem to mind. And Fili and Kili accepting him as their friend the minute they met him had made almost all of Dwalin's worries vanish.

But now that he saw Ori lying whenever talking about the Durin family, Dwalin was becoming worried. It wasn't that he didn't trust Ori, but he worried for him. And he had known Fili and Kili for their whole lives so he knew in just how much trouble they would get themselves into before they called on their mother or uncle to help.

Thorin frowned at this, "Now that you mention it, when I went to visit them they were rather jumpy. Even lied about the three plates on the counter..."

Dwalin quirked an eyebrow at this, clearly not knowing what his friend meant, but Thorin just waved him off. "All you must know is that Kili tells me he now has a girlfriend."

This shocked hi friend for Dwalin's eyebrows shot up and his eyes went wide. "Kili? That lad can't even talk to a girl without sticking his foot in his mouth!"

Thorin smirked while nodding. "You know... I believe it is time we played these kids in the manner they believe they are playing us."

* * *

><p>"Boys, it's not like I didn't mind you having your friends over," Bofur said as soon as the door closed behind Ori, finally leaving the brothers alone with Bofur. "But next time, how about you tell me when they're coming? I could have at least saved myself from the awkwardness that came when Kili pointed out my uniform."<p>

"But you look so adorable in it, Bofur!" Kili whined, hugging him once more.

Fili rolled his eyes at Kili's antics, "We're sorry for that, Bofur. We'll tell you next time, how about that?"

"That's good." Bofur sighed and hugged Kili back. "Now would you let go of me, lad? I'm going to head over and take a shower before I go to sleep."

Kili smiled broadly at him now, "How about I join you?"

Bofur's face lit up like a Christmas tree at the suggestive tone and he spluttered for an answer. Fili only shook his head at them with a small smile and looked over at the house phone as it began to rang. He walked over to it and answered, ignoring Bofur's pleas and Kili's crude words.

"Hello?"

_"Fili, how are you my boy?"_

"Nori?" Fili asked, pursing his lips slightly. "I'm good... And you?"

_"Oh, you know how it is in my business. Hey, I was wondering, can I stay over tonight? Dwalin's kind of kicked me out of his apartment and I need a place to stay."_

Fili frowned as he turned to the other two men in the room, who had become silent with the turn in his mood. "Um... I don't see much of-"

_"Thank you, lad!" _Nori cut in before Fili could deny him. _"I'll be over in an hour or two. And don't worry about it, I won't be staying for more than a week. You know how persuasive Ori can be when he wants."_

With that Nori hung up on Fili and the blonde started to freak out internally.

"Kili, make a bag and throw Bofur's stuff in there. We have to hide him again!"

Bofur gasped as Kili grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him into their shared room, leaving Fili out in the living room alone. The blonde rubbed at his temples for a second or two before dialing a new number on his telephone. It ran two times before the person on the other line picked up.

"Hello? There's no time to explain. Can you help Kili and I hide Bofur for a while?"

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	8. Chapter 8

"Lads, just who is this Bofur you spoke of over the phone?"

"Please, Mr. Bogggins, could we enter your home and get ourselves settled before you start questioning us as if we were nothing but common criminals?" Kili asked in a slightly exasperated tone, barreling through the shorter man's door to enter his house. "Follow me, Bofur."

Bilbo stared on in wide eyed amazement as a man he had never seen before followed after Kili, taking his hat off in an apologizing manner with a soft smile.

"My name is Baggins, Kili. And I really do not appreciate you barging into my home in the middle of the night- interrupting my stories mind you-" Bilbo began to tell Kili, fully ready to scold him to high heaven, only to have Fili clasp his large hand over the smaller's mouth.

"Bilbo, _please..._" Fili pleaded as he moved to face the man with the curly hair. "You have been a friend of ours much longer than you've known our uncle." Fili winced as he heard a scream of pain from the depths of Bilbo's small house, while said man's eyes widened.

"Sorry! Bofur didn't see the coffee table and I accidentally pushed him towards it!" Kili apologized and Fili sighed with a shake of his head.

Bilbo's eyes widened in worry for the man he hadn't been introduced to yet, but Fili kept his hand over Bilbo's mouth as he went to talk, stopping him completely.

"_Please_, Mr. Baggins. Just hear us out. If you don't like what you hear we'll leave without a fight. Just please listen to our story and if you are as respectable and generous as we believe you are, you'll let Bofur stay!"

Bilbo glared softly at the younger male from beneath his curls, but from the broad grin Fili was sending him, Bilbo could infer that he didn't look as threatening as he had hoped. So, with a huff and a cross of his arms Bilbo nodded, pouting slightly at his defeat to the much younger man.

"Thank you, Mr. Boggins!" Fili cheered as he hugged the slender man tightly, getting a gasp of shock from Bilbo.

"My name is Baggins, Fili! How many times must I reiterate this?"

* * *

><p>Now Fili and Kili were back in their apartment after having convinced Bilbo to hide their friend for the next week or two.<p>

When they had first started explaining how they had come to know Bofur Bilbo had tried to scold them, because, really, these kids were supposed to know better than take in a stranger from the street into their home on the very day they met him.

But after more explanations and some promises of paying Bilbo back later on, Fili and Kili were able to leave their friend in the hands of their old elementary and high school teacher.

"Can you believe Mr. Boggins is actually helping us?" Kili asked with a sigh of relief, falling backwards onto the couch.

Fili smiled at his brother with a nod, falling beside him. "At first it seemed like he was going to refuse us, but I guess our charm still works, huh, brother?"

The brothers shared a small laugh as they both thought back on to the time when Bilbo was still their teacher but their musings were cut short with a sharp knock on the door.

They looked at each other, trying to get the other to open the door, but Kili eventually sighed and stood up because he knew this wasn't a fight he would win.

When he opened it he found Nori leaning against the wall in front of them, a duffel bag slung over his shoulder and a cigarette in between his lips.

"Nori! You can't smoke here!" Kili hissed as soon as he noticed the object and he lunged to try and pry it from Nori.

The older man just side stepped him and plucked the cigarette out of his mouth, holding it right in Kili's face, "It's an electronic one, Kili. Ori and Dori insisted on me using this instead of the good old normal ones."

With that he placed it back in his mouth and entered the apartment, smirking when he saw Fili's tired form on the couch.

"What's wrong, Fili? Not excited to see me?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest while Fili mustered up a small smirk of his own.

"No, just waiting to hear the story of how you got kicked out by Dwalin again."

Nori chuckled softly and nodded at the younger man, then turned to Kili, who had just come back from closing the door behind him.

"I'm going to take my stuff to my room, then I'll tell you the whole story." He told the brothers who just nodded.

Nori had been over so many times ever since they had gotten the apartment that really weren't all that surprised or annoyed with whatever he did anymore. As long as he didn't break anything or ruin the brothers routine then they were more than glad to let him stay.

With those words the older man went to the room that he had deemed as his own and threw his duffel bag inside and, after having made sure that everything he had left was still there, walked back out to the main hall to find the brothers watching wrestling.

"You kids still watch that?"

The only answer he received was a small grunt from Kili, which just made him roll his eyes. "Didn't you want to know what I did this time around?"

This seemed to catch their attention because the brothers immediately turned to Nori, eyes wide and waiting to hear his newest adventure. "Yes, please!" They chorused, making Nori smirk.

He sat down in between the younger males and, with a smile, began his story.

* * *

><p>Bilbo found Bofur a bit odd. Not only were his hat, mustache, and braids rather weird, but the fact that he actually allowed the brothers to command him and control him without any kind of fight was the oddest part.<p>

From the hour of interaction Bilbo had seen between the three he was actually beginning to feel sorry for the male that had been roped into the boys eccentric ways.

Right now the hatted man was sitting tensely on the couch, twiddling with his thumbs as Bilbo prepared some tea.

"So... Um... Mr. Broadbeam, was it?" Bilbo asked to break the tense silence, making Bofur look up at him.

"Aye, that is correct. But, please, call me Bofur."

Bilbo turned to the man with a soft smile, wondering just how such a nice man was doing hanging around such crude and rude boys like Fili and Kili.

"All right then, Bofur. Would you like anything with your tea?"

Bofur smiled broadly at Bilbo's words and the shorter could tell that tea was a very good thing for the other man. "With milk and honey, if you could." His voice was clearly animated and Bofur cleared his throat, noticing that he sounded too excited. "Please... If you would like..." He mumbled after, seemingly shrinking back into his seat.

Bilbo's smile seemed to warm even more at the man's actions, feeling a tug at his heart. It had been so long since he had last met anyone that was as bashful as Bofur seemed. After years of hanging around the friendships he had made in America he had almost forgotten how kind the people from other countries could be.

"Honey and milk it is, then." Bilbo hummed to himself.

After he was done serving both Bofur and himself Bilbo walked towards his living room and set the drinks on the coffee table. He glanced around the room as Bofur reached for his drink then shook his head softly and leaned down to grab the remote control for the television.

"Well, Mr. Bofur, seeing how we'll be sharing my home for the foreseeable future, I believe it would be very good to know a bit about each other." The curly haired man cleared his throat softly as he sat down, placing the controller on the arm rest beside him.

Bofur quirked an eyebrow at him, as if wondering just why Bilbo would want to talk to him, but nodded softly. "Guess that's a good idea... Well, I guess I'll begin..."

* * *

><p>"Can't catch me!"<p>

Those screams were the first thing that caught Thorin's attention when he stepped in front of the door of the boys' apartment. What next caught his attention was the raucous laughter and squeals that accompanied the scream.

"Dammit, Nori..." Thorin breathed softly. "You're supposed to be spying on them, not befriending them even further..." Thorin cursed the man he had thought was trustworthy, but still composed himself and knocked on the door to the apartment.

The laughter and screams stopped as soon as he did so and all seemed to freeze inside the apartment because there were no noises. Then, suddenly, there was scuttling around the room and a sharp yelp of pain before Fili opened the door, red faced with a terse smile.

"Uncle! How great it is to see you!" He exclaimed in a cheery voice, only to have it deadpan later, even if he still held his smile. "What are you doing here?"

Thorin cocked an eyebrow at his tone but still answered. "I wanted to resume our past conversation. I had to run off because-"

"Of an important client's call, we know, uncle!" Kili was suddenly beside his brother, smiling broadly. "But we're having fun now! Nori's gotten kicked out of Dwalin's again and he's crashing here!"

Thorin looked down at them with mild curiosity, "And what did he do to get kicked out now?"

And now Nori appeared above both brothers' heads, smirking widely, "Because Dwalin is uptight and won't let me have any fun, cousin!"

The look the three received from their elder let them know he was clearly not amused. So Nori sighed and backed up, "The truth is I accidentally... may have... As a consequence of an action I didn't really know I was taking..." He began to stall.

But Fili wasn't in the mood for being nice so he turned to his uncle, "He set fire to their kitchen, Thorin."

Kili smiled broadly now, "And he tried to blame the manufacturers for it! We have a funny cousin, Uncle!"

The look Thorin gave the three men let them know that he really wasn't too amused with them. Nori went back into the apartment because of the unamused glance his cousin was sending his way while waving at him noncommittally.

"You know how persuasive Ori can be, cousin. I will be out of your hair in less than a week, tops."

Thorin frowned as the man walked away but shook his head then turned to his nephews. "His stupid decision making and rash actions better not rub off on you two. You know how your mother feels about our cousin."

Fili and Kili both gulped audibly, completely aware of just how much disdain Dis had for Nori. They nodded rapidly, and once Thorin was sure they were going to at least going to behave marginally, he nodded and went for the door.

"And Nori!" He called, making the man look at him from his seat on the couch. "You best be on your best behavior. I will know if anything is missing from this apartment."

With the threat Thorin left the three men, Nori with a frown while the brothers snickered softly. They knew that Nori had a small problem with thievery and that was exactly why their mom didn't want him around them. But they didn't care as long as he didn't still anything from them.

"So..." Fili began, "What are we going to do first?"

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